But do men need to be taller? continue...

Baldness occurs in white men more than in any other racial or sexual group. Genes for baldness are carried on the chromosomes of both men and women but require the male sex hormones for activation and for baldness to occur. Whilst white women may show a gradual thinning of their hair, by the time men have reached their early twenties some will show a receding hair line or bald spot, and by the age of 50 up to 60 per cent of men will have lost some hair.

It has been argued that balding is a sign for possible female mates that the balding male is beyond his prime and no longer fit to reproduce. However, this argument seems to be contrary to the rest of male reproductive behaviour and physiology which permits men to reproduce for almost as often and as long as desired. The absence of any obvious biological association between male sexuality and balding has not prevented hair from being central to many men's body image and hair loss being a serious fear.

So where does this fear come from? Why isn't balding simply accepted as a natural response to age or to the influence of hormones?

How many actors can you think of who are balding? How many television personalities accept their thinning hair without resorting to toupees or the 'sweeping syndrome'? The media present masculinity and hair thickness as being inseparable. The only exceptions to this rule are actors (two spring to mind) who are completely bald, suggesting that they have chosen to shave their heads and that if they wanted to they could easily grow it back.

How do men respond to this pressure?

Unlike for height, society offers men several ways to challenge the problem of hair loss. It offers them a way out. Men can wear toupees, sweep their hair across, living in constant fear of high winds, or they can have hair transplants. And some of them do. Some men are severely traumatised when their hair starts to fall out, some see it as the end of their youth and others as the end of their attractiveness.

I interviewed several men, and asked them how important their hair was and whether they were frightened of going bald. I received many responses, all of which indicated that balding was certainly not something to look forward to. Words such as 'horrible' and 'upsetting' were used and 'I'd look stupid' was a common remark.

However, one man did say that he was quite looking forward to going bald. He felt that it was 'cool' and distinguished, although he did add that the chances of his going bald were very slim.

Yet, as with male concerns with weight and height, these problems with balding do not seem to have such a profound effect on body image as weight does with women. This is not to trivialise men's body dissatisfaction or to dismiss their self-criticism, but to put it into perspective compared with the multitude of women who spend their lives preoccupied with weight.

I asked several men if they thought there was a difference between men and women as far as their looks were concerned. Surprisingly many men seemed to be aware of a difference and felt that they were lucky.

One man said: 'Women aren't attracted to men by their looks, they find their personalities attractive, but I am initially attracted to women by their looks, but then everything else becomes more important.'

Another said: 'If you are a man, being fat can give you status and suggests that you are rich and successful enough to eat nice food and drink good wine. If you are a woman, fatness means that you cannot command as much respect, and that you have a problem with food.'

He also said: 'Men's attractiveness is to do with character and personality. Women's attractiveness is far more to do with their physical appearance.'

Another man said: 'Men may not think of themselves as being attractive, or even worry about how attractive they are, but they put their energy into examining how attractive women are. Men's attractiveness can be determined by how attractive their female partner is.'

But are things changing?

Women assume that men get off lightly. However, over the last few years there has been an increase in the number of men used in advertising and an increase in magazines designed specifically for the male reader. Stereotypically good-looking men now advertise milk, cars, food and a multitude of consumables. Men's magazines are full of tall, dark, handsome men modelling clothes and even the male perfume market has taken off. Are we heading for a future of image-obsessed men?

I was interested to find in a recent copy of Cosmopolitan an article called 'Cosmo man' which was introduced by the question 'Is he worried stiff about his penis, his stomach, his mother?' Men also seemed to be getting the treatment. The article outlined men's 'touchiest topics' from penis size to balding and described each fear and neurosis in detail. It was sympathetic but subtly ridiculed each male preoccupation. The fears were treated as genuine but not as all that important. The article was interspersed with adverts for clothes modelled by tall men with lots of hair. The jokey article and the adverts presented the perfect combination of messages to develop and perpetuate any male neuroses.

Maybe the advertising world has saturated its use of women. Maybe it has discovered the new world of men's desire to conform to an ideal image. Whatever the reason, men are appearing more and more in the marketing world. And maybe in a few years' time we will start to see the damaging results.

Men and dieting part 1

A couple of years ago I was explaining my area of research at a job interview. After I had given what I considered a clear and full account of my work, the only man in the room said 'There is an obvious logical error in your work'. I was totally taken aback and meekly asked what it was. 'What about men?' he said. I had never really considered men in relation to dieting before. My interest in the area stems from being a woman myself, and I always felt that it was nice to work on something that men hadn't managed to monopolise yet. This post is a concession to that male interviewer, and to the many other men who have told me 'it's just as bad for men'.

Men also have role models and heroes. Over the centuries, literature has been full of ever changing images of the ideal man. In 1813 Jane Austen wrote in Pride and Prejudice:

Mr Darcy soon drew the attention of the room by his fine, tall person, handsome features, noble mien; and the report which was in general circulation within five minutes after his entrance, of his having ten thousand a year.

Attractive men were tall, straight and rich.

In the 1950s Charles Atlas used to be the ideal man. Men were sold work-out kits and body-building equipment. They had to be large, powerful and strong. They were men of few words and lots of muscles. But what is the message now? Do men have an image that they have to conform to?

It is often assumed that the media focus only on women's bodies in their attempts to sell a wide variety of products. Most adverts still have women modelling anything from clothes to cars

to cleaning fluid. I asked several men if they felt there were pressures on men to look a certain way.

One 25-year-old NHS manager immediately replied: 'Definitely' and proceeded to provide a detailed description of the ideal man:

You have to be tall, in a sharp suit (casual but smart), exuding money. The ideal body is well built, wide shoulders, a v-shaped back tapering to a firm bottom with dimples and a flat stomach.

He felt that men used to be proud of their beer guts but now they were ashamed and hid them.

Another 25-year-old man said that the ideal man was summed up by the actor Richard Gere: 'Not over-muscular, fit and at fighting weight. So that you don't really notice his body, but it is capable of doing what it's supposed to do without impairing itself' He felt that the ideal body was to do with fitness and health. He felt that the ideal body was one that was not noticeable because it was 'how a man's body should be'. Another felt that the ideal man was 'lithe, fit, stubbly and dark haired'.

I also asked several men what these images meant to them. The most common answer was that being tall, thin and fit meant that you were in control, and control was central to the 1990s' image of the ideal man. It also meant that you were healthy and confident and therefore capable of being a success in all other areas of life.

With the rise of the 1980s' work ethic, men in the media have become leaner; they look hard working and healthy. The ideal man does not self-indulge, he is in control and in command of his life. Hedonism seems to be becoming a thing of the past and this is illustrated by the contemporary ideal man.

So where do these images come from? These pressures seem to come from three sources: other men, women and the media.

One man said: 'Other men joke about putting on weight. They say "you're letting yourself go a bit" or suggest that you should take up squash at lunchtime.'

Another said, 'You overhear women talking about firm bottoms and flat stomachs and you realise that that's what they expect.' He also said: 'You know that women find certain film stars attractive. You also realise that they know nothing about them apart from how they look and what their bodies are like, so you realise that it is their bodies that make them attractive.'

The pressure also comes from the media. Over recent years there has been an increase in men used in advertising, all of whom are thin and stereotypically attractive. Media men have become less hedonistic and increasingly in control and reserved. In a recent television advert, a young man is used to advertise healthy pre-cooked meals. He is thin, healthy and represents clean living and self-control. He looks sensible. Male heroes of the 1960s and 1970s had an air of excess and debauchery about them. Now men are tame and controlled. The only media man that any of the men I interviewed could think of who was outside this image was Jack Nicholson who personifies total hedonism, self- indulgence and pleasure. Perhaps his attractiveness comes from his obvious rejection of social norms, and his ability not to conform, not to use tricks and not to be influenced by what other people expect.

Women tend to assume that men can get away with a greater variety of looks, sizes and shapes than women. It is believed that the male personality can compensate for many (but not all) physical characteristics. Woody Allen is a sex symbol; the female equivalent would never have even made it through the studio door. However, the media do seem to present an image of the ideal man of the 1980s and 1990s. How do men respond to these images? Do men feel dissatisfied with their bodies?

In 1968 Diabiase and Hjelle carried out a study to evaluate men's idea of the ideal body size. Groups of fat, average and thin men were shown silhouettes of male bodies which were also fat, thin and of average weight. The men were then asked to say which size they preferred and why. All the male subjects regardless of their own size preferred the average weight. They felt that both the thin and fat bodies represented qualities such as being shy, dependent and withdrawn, whereas the average-size body represented being active, energetic and dominant.

The men in the study showed a preference for a particular size. But was this reflected in a dissatisfaction with their own size?

Men and women were asked to rate their ideal size and their actual size. All the women subjects showed a large discrepancy between how they felt they looked and how they wanted to look, but the young men in the study did not. Regardless of their actual size, they felt satisfied with their weight.

Although men may report an ideal size and a preference for a particular body size this does not seem to be reflected in a dissatisfaction with their own size. It would seem that men are not directly affected with worries about their weight.

If I were thinner everything would be all right

Dieters diet to become thinner, and being thinner is seen as the way to make life better.

Thinness has many meanings beyond that of simply weighing less. On the following page is a questionnaire to identify what being thin means to you.

Circle the answer that best applies to you.

How often do you think, If I were thinner...

• I would be happier NEVER/SOMETIMES/OFTEN
• I would be more attractive NEVER/SOMETIMES/OFTEN
• I would be more popular NEVER/SOMETIMES/OFTEN
• I would be more confident NEVER/SOMETIMES/OFTEN
• I would be better at my job NEVER/SOMETIMES/OFTEN
• I would be more successful NEVER/SOMETIMES/OFTEN
• I would be more outgoing NEVER/SOMETIMES/OFTEN
• I would feel more in control NEVER/SOMETIMES/OFTEN
• I could show the world that Ihave will-power NEVER/SOMETIMES/OFTEN
• I would feel more assertive NEVER/SOMETIMES/OFTEN

Score the questions by awarding yourself one point for each 'never', two points for each 'sometimes' and three points for each 'often', then add up all your scores. The highest score possible is thirty and the lowest is ten.

The questionnaire illustrates how important being thin is, and how many other changes you expect from thinness other than simply weighing less. A high score suggests that you expect many changes.

If you diet because you feel that being thin offers a solution to many of life's problems, then it is necessary to put being thin into perspective. If you think that being thinner will change your life, then challenge these thoughts.

This is difficult because the association between thinness and a good life is intrinsic to our perception of ourselves. However, with a degree of effort and dedication it is possible to realise how ridiculous this association is.

The following exercise aims to highlight how it is possible to dissociate thinness from all the other supposedly related qualities.

Think of all the things you, would be able to achieve or feel if you could weigh less. To do this, picture yourself as you are at the moment and then as you would be if you were thinner and try and evaluate what the difference would be. Make a list of these differences, and next to each item write down all the possible reasons why this may not be the case.

Overleaf is a list of some of the possible meanings of being thinner and a reason why thinness does not have to have this meaning.

Thinness and attractiveness

We believe that if only we were thinner we would be more attractive. But how thin do we have to be before suddenly becoming attractive? Most women who diet would be considered as thin by everyone else anyway. But they still feel that being thinner would be an advantage. Dieting makes you miserable, preoccupied with food and weight, feel a failure — none of which are attractive qualities. A failed dieter can feel useless and lacking in will-power. Attractiveness is about liking yourself and presenting a likeable person to the outside world. Dieting detracts, not adds, to your attractiveness.

If you do lose weight, will this make you more attractive? What weight will this be, or will you always feel that if only you could be that bit thinner you could be more attractive? Look at the people around you. Are the thinner people more attractive? Do your thinner friends feel more attractive? Attractiveness is about using your body in a positive way and it's about feeling confident with your body. Being thinner does not create this, but your attitude to yourself does.

Thinness and success

Seeing weight loss as the way to success is self-defeating. Trying to diet undermines any feelings of success because weight loss is so difficult. Dieting is associated with feelings of failure which generalise to other areas of your life. Feeling a failure is not the way to succeed. Constant attempts at dieting can contribute to low self-esteem which can actively prevent success. Why spend so much time trying to lose weight, and feeling bad when it does not happen? Success in dieting is very difficult, so why chose weight loss as the area for success?

And if you do lose weight, will you be more successful? Or will you simply be thinner?

Thinness and happiness

We are sold the message that thinness is happiness, so we try to become thin. Whatever size we are to start with we still want to be thinner. But getting thinner is difficult, it is depressing and can be a miserable way of life. If we never achieve the goal of gettingthinner, we are constantly disappointed and annoyed with ourselves. Being disappointed and annoyed is not the way to be happy. And even if we achieve the desired weight loss, thin people are no happier than their larger counterparts because thin people still want to be thinner.

Happiness is about liking ourselves and not being constantly critical. It is about feeling positive and in control and proud of what we have to offer. Dieting is about the opposite. Trying to be thin creates a state of constant self-criticism, it is a difficult task and generates a negative view of who we are at the present while focusing on who we could be in the elusive future.

Thinness and control

We believe that 'If only I could control my weight then I would be able to control my life'. But weight naturally controls itself and is regulated around a fairly stable set point. Dieting imposes an unnatural form of control upon something which is self- regulating. Constantly trying to eat less, sometimes succeeding and sometimes overeating, undermines this control and can leave the dieter less in control than she was before she started to diet. In the short term dieting may provide a structure, but in the long term constantly trying to limit your food intake can create chaos. And feeling out of control of your eating can generalise to other areas of your life. Trying to be thin can undermine, not add to, your sense of control.

So if we realise why we diet, and can find a substitute for dieting, we can stop dieting.