Men and dieting part 1

A couple of years ago I was explaining my area of research at a job interview. After I had given what I considered a clear and full account of my work, the only man in the room said 'There is an obvious logical error in your work'. I was totally taken aback and meekly asked what it was. 'What about men?' he said. I had never really considered men in relation to dieting before. My interest in the area stems from being a woman myself, and I always felt that it was nice to work on something that men hadn't managed to monopolise yet. This post is a concession to that male interviewer, and to the many other men who have told me 'it's just as bad for men'.

Men also have role models and heroes. Over the centuries, literature has been full of ever changing images of the ideal man. In 1813 Jane Austen wrote in Pride and Prejudice:

Mr Darcy soon drew the attention of the room by his fine, tall person, handsome features, noble mien; and the report which was in general circulation within five minutes after his entrance, of his having ten thousand a year.

Attractive men were tall, straight and rich.

In the 1950s Charles Atlas used to be the ideal man. Men were sold work-out kits and body-building equipment. They had to be large, powerful and strong. They were men of few words and lots of muscles. But what is the message now? Do men have an image that they have to conform to?

It is often assumed that the media focus only on women's bodies in their attempts to sell a wide variety of products. Most adverts still have women modelling anything from clothes to cars

to cleaning fluid. I asked several men if they felt there were pressures on men to look a certain way.

One 25-year-old NHS manager immediately replied: 'Definitely' and proceeded to provide a detailed description of the ideal man:

You have to be tall, in a sharp suit (casual but smart), exuding money. The ideal body is well built, wide shoulders, a v-shaped back tapering to a firm bottom with dimples and a flat stomach.

He felt that men used to be proud of their beer guts but now they were ashamed and hid them.

Another 25-year-old man said that the ideal man was summed up by the actor Richard Gere: 'Not over-muscular, fit and at fighting weight. So that you don't really notice his body, but it is capable of doing what it's supposed to do without impairing itself' He felt that the ideal body was to do with fitness and health. He felt that the ideal body was one that was not noticeable because it was 'how a man's body should be'. Another felt that the ideal man was 'lithe, fit, stubbly and dark haired'.

I also asked several men what these images meant to them. The most common answer was that being tall, thin and fit meant that you were in control, and control was central to the 1990s' image of the ideal man. It also meant that you were healthy and confident and therefore capable of being a success in all other areas of life.

With the rise of the 1980s' work ethic, men in the media have become leaner; they look hard working and healthy. The ideal man does not self-indulge, he is in control and in command of his life. Hedonism seems to be becoming a thing of the past and this is illustrated by the contemporary ideal man.

So where do these images come from? These pressures seem to come from three sources: other men, women and the media.

One man said: 'Other men joke about putting on weight. They say "you're letting yourself go a bit" or suggest that you should take up squash at lunchtime.'

Another said, 'You overhear women talking about firm bottoms and flat stomachs and you realise that that's what they expect.' He also said: 'You know that women find certain film stars attractive. You also realise that they know nothing about them apart from how they look and what their bodies are like, so you realise that it is their bodies that make them attractive.'

The pressure also comes from the media. Over recent years there has been an increase in men used in advertising, all of whom are thin and stereotypically attractive. Media men have become less hedonistic and increasingly in control and reserved. In a recent television advert, a young man is used to advertise healthy pre-cooked meals. He is thin, healthy and represents clean living and self-control. He looks sensible. Male heroes of the 1960s and 1970s had an air of excess and debauchery about them. Now men are tame and controlled. The only media man that any of the men I interviewed could think of who was outside this image was Jack Nicholson who personifies total hedonism, self- indulgence and pleasure. Perhaps his attractiveness comes from his obvious rejection of social norms, and his ability not to conform, not to use tricks and not to be influenced by what other people expect.

Women tend to assume that men can get away with a greater variety of looks, sizes and shapes than women. It is believed that the male personality can compensate for many (but not all) physical characteristics. Woody Allen is a sex symbol; the female equivalent would never have even made it through the studio door. However, the media do seem to present an image of the ideal man of the 1980s and 1990s. How do men respond to these images? Do men feel dissatisfied with their bodies?

In 1968 Diabiase and Hjelle carried out a study to evaluate men's idea of the ideal body size. Groups of fat, average and thin men were shown silhouettes of male bodies which were also fat, thin and of average weight. The men were then asked to say which size they preferred and why. All the male subjects regardless of their own size preferred the average weight. They felt that both the thin and fat bodies represented qualities such as being shy, dependent and withdrawn, whereas the average-size body represented being active, energetic and dominant.

The men in the study showed a preference for a particular size. But was this reflected in a dissatisfaction with their own size?

Men and women were asked to rate their ideal size and their actual size. All the women subjects showed a large discrepancy between how they felt they looked and how they wanted to look, but the young men in the study did not. Regardless of their actual size, they felt satisfied with their weight.

Although men may report an ideal size and a preference for a particular body size this does not seem to be reflected in a dissatisfaction with their own size. It would seem that men are not directly affected with worries about their weight.

Giving up dieting? Continue…

Repeat this on different days. Notice how your moods affect the way your body looks. We believe the saying 'look good and you will feel good'. But the reverse is also true: 'feel good and you will look good'. When we feel positive our bodies can look perfect and we examine ourselves with pride. If we are upset all we can see are the dimples and loose flesh. This is expressed perfectly by Kathrin Perutz in her book Beyond the Looking Glass:

On a good day I can see dark brown eyes, long lashes, a sensual mouth, smooth skin and an endearing nose. On a bad day these are eclipsed and only the bags under my eyes, wrinkles, kinky hair, fat lips and pug nose are visible. On a terrible day, there's almost nothing to see at all except a blur of indefensible humanity as I avert my gaze. And on a glorious day the beautiful eyes behold me, full of love, humour and intelligence.

We need to learn to distinguish between our negative perception of our bodies and the reality. And we should like the reality.

Perhaps even greater than our fear of examining our own bodies is the fear of exposing them to others. Have you ever undressed with the lights off in front of someone else? Or do you lie in bed with your partner making sure your stomach is pulled in and your thighs are hidden? Or maybe you have found that lying in certain positions on the beach is unacceptable?

In Britain we very rarely expose our bodies to others. Most of the year is spent under layers of clothes which disguise and hide a multitude of sins. When we do take our clothes off it tends to be in the privacy of our own home, and only with the very few people we feel confident with. We assume that others will be as critical of our bodies as we are because there is no evidence to suggest otherwise. If no-one ever sees you with no clothes on, how can you know whether they will criticise how you look?

And yet on holiday it is a different matter. Last year I went to the South of France. For the first day or so I lay on the beach looking at my white body which looked in a state of shock at being so exposed. I lay on my back because I look better that way and I put my clothes back on to go for lunch. Then I noticed that I was surrounded by nearly naked people of all shapes and sizes, some wearing perfectly fitting bikinis, others bursting out of theirs, and I stopped worrying. Within a few days I was totally happy. Most people stop caring on holiday. There are too many other things to do and enjoy. And once we have exposed our naked flesh to the critical world and no-one has criticised, collapsed from the shock or laughed, we realise that we are fine, and we can get on with everything else.

But this feeling often goes when we get home. So how do we learn to get used to others seeing our body? The following hints may be helpful.

First, try the exercise described above with someone else. A friend can make it more fun and a partner adds an element of excitement. Compare your bodies and point out to each other which parts you don't like. I remember being at college and getting ready to go out with a group of women friends. As we were all getting dressed one woman suddenly said 'God I hate my nipples, they're so small'. We then all compared bosoms and everyone seemed to have their own personal complaints, but no-one could understand why anyone else was worried. Small nipples turned out to be about the same size as everyone else's, and we all had at least a few hairs growing from them! Women very rarely see other women's bodies unless they are clothed and disguised. It is very easy to believe that you are different from everyone else because there is no-one to compare yourself with. Simple exposure is the easiest way to realise that even the apparently most perfect body is still similar to your own.

Another technique is to try walking around with no clothes on. Get used to watching the television and cooking dinner whilst naked. Don't shy away from communal changing rooms in shops and go swimming in the local public baths.

Learn to feel confident about how you look, and understand other people's reactions to you. If you feel positive about your body others will respond positively. Examine your own reactions to other people. You don't notice everyone else's flab so why should they be so interested in yours?

Oscar Wilde once said 'To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance'. As women we need to stop criticising and put our bodies into perspective.

Giving up dieting?

We need to give up dieting. We need to stop wanting to be thinner and we need to stop supporting the dieting industry.

It is necessary to realise why you diet and then to find a substitute. Dieting serves a function and this function cannot simply be removed; it needs to be replaced.

WHY DO YOU DIET?

• I am unhealthy

Is your weight damaging your health? If it is then maybe you should try and lose weight. But for the majority of dieters this is not the case.

• I do not like my body

Most women do not like their bodies. It is very rare that we see ourselves fully naked in a full-length mirror. When we do, we criticise every inch, prod at our flesh with disgust, pull our stomachs in and tighten our bottoms. Or alternatively we dim the lights and walk away.

Overleaf is a questionnaire which highlights how self-critical we are. It deals with every aspect of the body, not just weight, and illustrates that nothing is ever just right. To find out how critical you are, score each bodily part as either too large, too small or just right. There is also another column for you to add in your own criticism such as too hairy, too spotty, too blotchy or whatever you feel is appropriate, since large or small is not always relevant.

Are you critical of yourself? How many aspects did you feel were just right? Do you like your body? Do you feel proud of it?

If so many women dislike so much of their bodies, what is left as the right way for a woman's body to be? To whom are we all comparing ourselves? For our bodies to be wrong, there must be a woman out there who has just the right one!

If we diet because we don't like our bodies then we need to learn to accept our bodies and to appreciate what we have. It is only us who criticises us, no-one else notices that your nose is too large or that your bottom droops, unless of course we point out to everyone that our bodies are a problem. Women dislike their bodies and believe that others dislike them as well. Many of the men whom I interviewed in Chapter 8 reported that, even though they would prefer to weigh less, no-one noticed and this wasn't a problem. But women translate their own feelings of body dissatisfaction into a problem which they feel is equally important to everyone else. Their dislike of their bodies is a central component of their identity, which influences their feelings of self-worth.

So how do we learn to love what we have spent so long hating? One of the best ways to like your body is to look at it. The following exercise is helpful.

Get yourself a good full-length mirror. Make sure that it is accurate and that it does not distort your image. Mirrors which make you look larger than you are can be depressing, unless you tell yourself 'I am actually smaller than that'. Mirrors which make you look smaller than you are can be flattering except that you will probably end up telling yourself 'I may look thin but I know I am actually fatter than this'.

Then set the scene. Have a relaxing bath and pamper yourself with nice soap or a new shampoo. Then go into the room with the mirror. It is best to be on your own to start with although doing it with a friend can make it more fun! Have the lights either dimmed or on full depending on whichever makes you happier; your favourite music can add to the scene along with a glass of wine.

Then look at yourself in the mirror. Examine every inch and get used to looking at the parts usually ignored or hidden. First look at your body objectively; examine it as if it were someone else's. If you don't like your stomach, examine it. Do not criticise, but get used to looking and accepting. Thighs are a common area which are conveniently difficult to see. Turn around and watch them as you move. Ask yourself questions such as 'why do I not like my body?' and detach your emotions from it. Try and see it as it actually is.

Then examine yourself subjectively. Notice which parts of your body you are fond of and which parts you dislike. Do certain parts arouse different emotions? Are you proud of some areas but not of others. Focus first on the 'loved parts' and then on the 'unloved parts'. Notice whether there are any actual differences between the two or whether it is just your perception of them.

The Cost of Organic Food

It's true, organic foods often come with a higher sticker price. Because of this, some argue that the organic movement is an elitist one—only offering healthy foods to the wealthiest. In fact, the mean income of a frequent organic food buyer in the U.S. is $43,280—solidly middle-class^— and 31 percent of frequent organic buyers make under$15,000 a year. And as more people buy organic, the more ,the prices will go down: Suppliers will have to place orders, which means more farmers will be encouraged to farm organically because they have a steady market for their goods. So this increases the easy availability of organic food, which often leads to a reduced price for consumers.

Some people willingly pay the price for organic foods, seeing this as a charity donation—a way to support the health of the planet or the farmers who are trying to do right by the land and their communities. In some spiritual communities it is even seen as "tithing"—which means taking a portion of one's income and giving it back to the world in a way that supports the greater good. Yet other people see it as a kind of health insurance payment, recognizing that by ridding their bodies, and the bodies of their children, of agricultural chemicals they may have fewer medical bills.

CAN WE REALLY AFFORD "CHEAP" FOOD?

There is another issue: We need to think carefully about the hidden costs of nonorganic foods. For years, we've been forced to buy into the chemical contamination of our planet and bodies under the guise of creating abundant, "cheap" food. But how cheap is it really? The real cost of industrial farming never shows up on the price sticker at the grocery store. The price never shows the money taxpayers pay for government subsidizing of agribusinesses. The grocery store price also doesn't reflect how much we pay for our damaged health and weakened immune systems. It's almost impossible to measure how much we spend trying to clean up and cope with the environmental damage caused by chemical intensive farming, but in the U.S., it's estimated to be $9 billion a year. We just cannot afford this "cheap" food much longer. About three million tons of pesticides, herbicides, and fungicides are used on this planet every year! Every continent is burdened with the ongoing cost of cleaning up this chemical contamination, especially in streams, rivers, and lakes.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Unfortunately, it will take a long time for the earth to break down and heal itself from much of the poisoning caused by farming with chemicals. For now, we can't easily rid ourselves of what we have already done, but we can stop adding more. And there is one sure way to do this: Eat organic. If you buy "certified organic" food, you are guaranteed that it was grown without chemical pesticides, GMOs, chemical fertilizers, sewage sludge, or preserved with ionizing radiation.

Purists may think we shouldn't bother with organic certification if it's being co-opted by corporate interests. But we must also keep in mind that the booming organic certification movement is doing an enormous amount to protect consumers as well as the environment from the harms caused by industrial agriculture. Organic certification offers us important safeguards—forcing agribusiness to abandon some of its more destructive practices. A whole line of McOrganics or Organic Coke may seem like horrible aberrations, corrupting the sacred intentions of the organic pioneers. But any restraints we can put on the corporate world are important. And in some instances, corporations might actually give greater economic strength and consumer recognition to small, ethical businesses without corrupting their core values. For instance, when M&M-Mars bought Seeds of Change it helped finance a wonderful company that has remained dedicated to sustainable farming and protecting the purity and heritage of our seed supply.

As we said, the rising availability of organic foods gives us solid evidence of the power of consumers. It tells us that we are forcing the corporations, some of which are the biggest names in agribusiness, to change their farming methods in order to capitalize on the fastest-growing trend in the industry. And in the next chapter I'll tell you more about what you can do to directly support the small-scale, deep organic farmers we value so greatly.

Avoid Pesticides and Other Chemicals

Unless you primarily purchase organic foods, one item in three in your kitchen cabinet or refrigerator will likely contain pesticide residues. Government testing has found residues from as many as seven different pesticides on a single head of nonorganic lettuce. So if one of your main reasons for buying organic is to reduce your exposure to farm chemicals, you may want to substitute organic for the produce that typically has the highest levels of chemical residues.

U.S. shoppers should also avoid imported, nonorgani_c fruits and vegetables, since they consistently contain more residues than domestic samples. Also, many chemical corn.. panies take the pesticides that are banned in the United States and unload them in countries where there are fewer government restrictions.

Another bonus of certified organic foods is that they have to be processed without many of the food additives that have been linked to diseases such as cancer, heart disease, migraine, hyperactivity, and osteoporosis. For instance, the enhanced red color of some nonorganic strawberries comes from the fungicide captan, a probable human carcinogen that irritates skin and eyes, and is highly toxic to fish. Phosphoric acid in fizzy drinks has been linked to osteoporosis. Aspartame, an artificial sweetener in nonorganic foods, is linked to mood swings and migraines, and MSG (monosodium glutamate) is linked to asthma and headaches.

Feed Children and Babies Organics

As we said, children are especially vulnerable to the effects of pesticide residues. And we now have scientific evidence for what common sense already told us: Children and babies who are fed mostly organic foods have lower levels of pesticide residues in their bodies than children who are fed nonorganic foods. So it is well worth the investment in feeding children organic foods.

If you have no choice but to serve nonorganic foods, parents can reduce exposure by serving children vegetables with thicker skin, shells, or peels, since soft-skinned fruit and vegetables seem more likely to contain residues. According to research from Consumer Reports, pesticide residues in a single serving of peaches "consistently exceeded" the EPA's safe daily limit for a forty-four-pound child. Since pesticide residues can be transferred (often in a more concentrated form) through the placenta and breast milk, it is especially important that women who are pregnant or breast-feeding follow these guidelines.